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What About the Bedroom–Is it Sexy to be Equal Sexually in Dating and Long-term Relationships?

It has long been thought that a man should be the initiator in the bedroom.  It was the Masculine role to be assertive there.  Today women are more sexually assertive, more aware of their needs and desires and more vocal about sexuality in their relationships.

Yet many books advise women to let men take the lead lest they won’t be seen as Feminine or attractive.  In fact, in The Rules authors suggest letting the man lead in bedroom. They tell women, “In a Rules relationship, don’t initiate sex, even if you want it badly. Let the man be the aggressor in the bedroom.” And, they say this in their section on marriage, so these authors consider this one a long-term “rule.”

Does this mean women are passive vessels who are not just waiting to be approached and propositioned while dating, but for the rest of their lives? Is it never okay for them to want or initiate love-making with their mate?

Here are some factoids:

Peer marriages have better sexual relationships because women initiate sex and identify their sexual needs more, but peer partners have less passion, according to research done by Dr. Pepper Schwartz.

In 2011, 35% of singles had one night stands that turned into a long-term relationship (from a match.com survey) so the idea that men only value women who withhold sex may be changing.

when you really think about it, are some of your ideas about sexuality still traditional in dating and romantic relationships?  Are you afraid to rock the boat and discuss it?

To explore sexual equality in romantic relationships and in dating, order my upcoming book:  When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Love Themselves into the Relationship of Their Dreams by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

 

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (http://www.mydatingschool.com), author of Dating from the Inside Out, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times.  Her new book, When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves into the Relationship of their Dreams ebook can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December.  Learn more about it on her website: http://www.whenmarswomendate.com!