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The 5 Biggest Relationship Traps Mars Women Fall Into:

Mars women (or successful career women) sometimes succumb to popular dating advice that doesn’t fit them.  I will cover 5 common dating tips that go against the grain of the Mars woman in a relationship here:

  1. DONT GIVE ADVICE:  Ok, so no one likes unsolicited advice…but if asked her advice, a Mars woman would be straight with you, man or woman.  And why not?  She advises people everyday all day at work and has lots of experience and education.  should her opinion put men off?  No way!  They can still have their own mind but all the better to sit there alongside a confident, intelligent date.
  2. DON’T SHOW INTEREST: The book, “The Rules” made this concept popular by suggesting that women feign disinterest, act mysterious, not call back and appear busy but Mars women are busy and they’re usually direct.  They have no time for nonsense or games and if they’re interested than you will know it and that’s how it should be!
  3. DON’T PAY OR RECIPROCATE: Many dating experts suggest letting the man take the lead in all things dating but a Mars woman isn’t used to waiting around for what she wants.  she is used to earning what she gets through merit, effort and work.  sure, dating should be fun but if she has funds, why shouldn’t she invest in a relationship too?
  4. DON’T SHARE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Many dating experts advise young women not to share job or income successes because it might intimidate men.  Women have long seen the advantage of men’s success so why shouldn’t it work in the reverse as well. Being great at your career and being helpful in this world at large is a positive thing–male or female. The right man for a Mars woman will applaud her accomplishments!
  5. DON’T ASK A MAN OUT OR SUGGEST DATE IDEAS:  Dating experts have long suggested that a woman not offer activity ideas for dates or ask a man out.  yet research shows that when women did ask a man out, 51% of female initiated dates led to a relationship that lasted more than 6 months!

Most of the top dating experts continue to tout gender stereotypes and to give this kind of dating advice, even though it clearly does not fit the Mars woman today.  They need a book to be their voice and to lead the way to real love.

So, here it is…you can buy the Kindle edition of my book: When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams, by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman on Amazon.com; or sign up for When Mars Women Date Newsletter, to know when the print version is released along with details about our community, services, and upcoming events.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

——————————————–

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times.  Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

5 Things A Mars Woman Should Look for In a Husband:

Mars women (or successful career women) need a mate who will support their lifestyle and dreams while still allowing them to have a family (if that’s what they both want).  I will cover 5 things a Mars woman should look for in a future husband here:

  1. HE SUPPORTS YOUR DREAMS:  He is not threatened by your success.  In fact, he is willing to balance it with his own.
  2. HE RESPECTS YOUR OPINION:  He knows you are intelligent and he respects your opinion as much as his own.  You are a team in decision-making.
  3. HE’S POTENTIALLY A GOOD HUSBAND & FATHER:  This seems obvious but so many singles act on attraction, chemistry and feelings.  You will be making a lifelong commitment to this person and if you have a family, this involves being partners in two jobs–being a spouse and parent (and lover would be a third).  But most women do not think practically about whether a date would fit this bill.  Mars women work long hours and are passionate about their dreams and goals in the outer world.  Most are great mothers but it benefits them and their kids to have an active, involved dad in the picture to fill in too.  Things will get hectic so it’s important to consider this early on.

My book helps Mars women look at the qualities they would most need in a husband and father.

HE’S DOMESTIC OR HIRES A DOMESTIC PERSON:  Mars women are working a lot and many do not want to come home and do 10 hours of housework a week.  They did not do this before they were married and they don’t want to sign on for that job just because they are female.  Yet, it has to get done.  So, either there is an agreement to have an equitable arrangement between partners at the start or the couple can hire third party help.  Don’t assume this will be the case without a discussion.  Love may conquer a lot but it doesn’t decimate dirty laundry.

HE IS FLEXIBLE AND OPEN-MINDED:  The best relationships can hold challenging circumstances like illness, job loss etcetera.  If both partners are whole, flexible and open-minded then they will both be prepared to work less or more or to stay with the children as needed, gender stereotypes aside.  This is also a good discussion for peer couples to have.

If you want to hear real stories about Mars women and the kinds of husbands they’ve found to make their careers, lives, relationships and families work… buy my new book:When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams, by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman on Amazon.com; or sign up for When Mars Women Date Newsletter, to know when the print version is released along with details about our community, services, and upcoming events.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

——————————————–

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times. Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

The Top Dating Complaints That Single Men Have About Single Mars Women

1. They Think Mars Women Are Controlling & Pushy:

Although the men I interviewed seem comfortable with assertive women, they want to know that their opinions are respected too  Sometimes powerful women are so accustomed to being in charge that they demand things be a certain way without asking their date what he wants and making a suitable compromise.   I want you to consider what you feel about being vulnerable and receiving help and love in your relationships too.

2.  They Can Be Perfectionists:

Often successful women are hard on themselves and they’re used to demanding perfection.  This may be helpful at work but it is too intense in dating. No one wants to feel like they are being inspected for flaws, especially early on. Both men and women want to be admired, appreciated and respected. This does not mean that a successful woman should pretend to be   someone she isn’t. Rather, if she tends to discount the great things about someone and focus on their one challenging characteristic, she can notice that internal pattern and change her behavior. Perhaps she can authentically compliment her date or look for positives in him, whether he is husband material or not.

3. They Are Angry With Men & Patriarchy

Often successful career women have had to push their way to the top.  Sometimes they’ve been unfairly treated by male bosses or co-workers.  They may have developed armor or a chip on their shoulder as a result, but this isn’t attractive or welcoming when dating.  Men want to be liked and they don’t want to take on undirected anger that belongs to past experiences and other people.

4.  They’re serious and don’t know how to have fun or to emotionally connect:

Often professional women have to work overtime to appear professional and to obtain leadership and respect.  It may be hard to turn this persona off and to loosen up on dates.  Men report that their dates feel like a job interview.  Mars women won’t laugh and enjoy themselves in the moment.  They always say that there is a lid for every pot, but often the men who like completely work-oriented and unemotional women are interested in more of a “business arrangement” as a relationship.  For example, in the film Baby Boom the lead character had a relationship like this, based on Masculine energy where the priority was their work lives, logic and practicalities.  When the heroine inherits a baby and started to incorporate some Feminine energy, emotion, and connection into her life, her boyfriend left.  He could not handle the emotionality of the situation.  So, I am not saying that your work should not be a priority of course, but I want you to think about the reasons you want a relationship and make that important too.  Do you want a practical arrangement or intimacy and an emotional connection? If it’s the latter, you will want to bring an emotional connection, sexuality and joy into your relationship also.

5. They Won’t Make Time for a Relationship:

I tell successful men and women alike that they can get a matchmaker or dating couch but they cannot farm out love.  Relationships do require work on both peoples parts.  I still think it is possible for women and men to have successful careers and relationships but they both need to work at both.  Mars women may be as guilty of prioritizing work over romance as successful men have been (ironically these men have never had much problem getting married).  But in any event, in a healthy relationship both people need to make the other person feel important.  So, if you’re a Mars woman who forgets this, pay attention going forward.

If you want to learn more about what single men love and dislike about single Mars women read my new book:When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams, by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman on Amazon.com; or sign up for When Mars Women Date Newsletter, to know when the print version is released along with details about our community, services, and upcoming events.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

——————————————–

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times. Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

7 Love Is Work Principles:

(excerpted from Dr. Sherman’s new ebook, ‘When Mars Women Date’)

1. Take Action: In your career you know that you can’t just talk, you need to take action to land career prospects. Do the same thing in dating.

2. Be Consistent: It takes time to master something. You need to keep putting yourself out there in order to advance, even when you don’t feel like it. It’s what commands greatness in any area.

3. Accept That Sometimes You Won’t See Results: I’m sure there were times in a work situation where you invested time and energy and it didn’t work out. This is part of the game and you can only do your part to the best of your ability.

4. Diversify: At work you need to have multiple tasks and projects going on at once. Some will do better at different times. It’s the same in dating. Until you’re sure you want to invest 100% in one partner, keep seeing a few.

5. Develop Relationships: In business some of the best, long lasting customers are those with whom you have great trusting relationships. You check in with them and ask questions to provide the best, most personalized service. Dating is similar because you need to develop trust and ongoing communication is also important.

6. Be Clear About the Benefits of Dating You: In the work world you sell yourself and your company by explaining the benefits that you provide. Dating is not as in your face but the principle is the same. You need to be confident that you’re a great person and partner and this will come through.

7. Get a Mentor: In your career you’ve probably had bosses who have guided you and taught you the ropes. Support goes a long way in answering your questions and bolstering floundering self-esteem. If you can afford (and you need) a dating coach, get one. Otherwise you can use this book and get a few single friends to support you and be your wing women in the beginning. Ask them to go to single’s events with you.

If you want to learn more about how to apply your great work ethic to love, read my new book:When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams, by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman on Amazon.com; or sign up for When Mars Women Date Newsletter, to know when the print version is released along with details about our community, services, and upcoming events.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

——————————————–

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times. Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

3 Ways Women Can Be More Assertive In Dating:

  1. STATE YOUR OPINION:  If he realizes that you have a good mind from the start, this will either attract or repel him.  Better you know from the start.
  2. DO SOMETHING NON-TRADITIONAL:  If you don’t want to be pegged in a gender stereotyped relationship, than try something out of the box.  Hold the door for him, buy him a flower, offer to pay or initiate a kiss first.  Does he balk or is he reassured by a woman who is confident and clear.
  3. SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES & PASSIONS:   If you want to date a man who has high self-esteem and is a feminist, share your successes and see if he supports who you are.  Does he feel it will overshadow him or the relationship or can he applaud your full potential in the world?  Does that fit his definition of love?

If you want to learn more about how to date as a feminist, read my new book:When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams, by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman on Amazon.com; or sign up for When Mars Women Date Newsletter, to know when the print version is released along with details about our community, services, and upcoming events.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

——————————————–

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times. Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

5 Ways Balanced Partners Lead to Better Partnerships:

1. BOTH PEOPLE HAVE A BETTER WORK/LIFE BALANCE:  When both men and women work and care for the kids then they have more balance within and in the relationship.

2. THE RELATIONSHIP HAS MORE FLEXIBILITY:  If someone loses a job, has an illness or has to care for a child, the other partner can work more or stay home more.

3. BOTH PEOPLE ARE FULFILLED AT WORK AND IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP:  Sometimes if one person is always working to support the family, they have less time for romance or parenting.  In contrast, sometimes when just one partner stays home they can feel unfulfilled in the outer world.  (This is not always the case).  But, when both partners work, they can address both parts of their psyche.

4. BOTH PEOPLE CAN ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER’S GOALS: In the past women were the cheerleader behind the man.  They supported their kids, husband, his career and their household needs.  Oftentimes her needs and dreams were unknown or unsupported.  Today both partners can be cheerleaders in each other’s goals and can help one another achieve them.

5. CHILDREN HAVE ROLE MODELS OF TWO WHOLE PEOPLE:  In the past mommy represented the home and daddy represented the outside world.  As a result our daughters automatically assumed they could not be CEOs or astronauts.  Today if they have role models of both parents doing both roles, the world will be full of possibility for them-male or female.

If you want to learn more about dating to find an equal relationship, read my new book:When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams, by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman on Amazon.com; or sign up for When Mars Women Date Newsletter, to know when the print version is released along with details about our community, services, and upcoming events.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

——————————————–

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times. Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

What is a Mars Woman?

A “Mars woman” is a successful, professional woman who is often outspoken, incredibly competent, earns a good living, and is an intelligent leader. She identifies with some traditionally “Masculine” traits such as being assertive and action-oriented.  She respects her own thinking abilities, and wants to leave her mark in the outside world. She likes to be appreciated and respected, and wants to share the decision-making within her relationships.

Most Mars women have some commonalities in their upbringing.  According to Dr. Rimm in See Jane Win, many Mars Women had parents who set high expectations for them. These young women invested time in study, were very involved in extracurricular activities, won competitions, received awards, traveled, played sports, were independent, and had a strong work ethic.

The Mars woman is more Masculine than John Gray’s Venus women, from his book, ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.”  A Mars woman may not have predominantly “Feminine” energy, she may communicate to problem-solve rather than express her feelings, she may be more of a leader in the outer world, and yet she can still be very attractive to men.

Historically, a woman’s role was to be mother, homemaker, and wife, so it was assumed that women were more oriented toward feelings, relationships, children, and domesticity; and men to action, career, finances and conquering the outer world.

But today we know that some women have more Masculine energy and love their work (like Mars woman) and some men have more Feminine energy (like Venusian men).  Don’t these singles deserve love too?  How can they go about finding it?

To answer that and many other questions,  read my new book:When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams, by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman on Amazon.com; or sign up for When Mars Women Date Newsletter, to know when the print version is released along with details about our community, services, and upcoming events.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

——————————————–

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times. Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

What is a Venusian Man?

Today many men are in touch with their Feminine energy.  I am not meaning to use gender stereotypes here, rather, I’m using the archetypal descriptions of energy that are commonly assumed in our society.  For example, Feminine energy is often viewed as the passive, receptive, emotional, nonverbal, magnetic force in a relationship. It  is feelings based, makes love and creates relationships and play.

Masculine energy is active, giving, work-oriented, the pursuer and the giver. It is thought and logic based and wields the power and prestige in a relationship.

Whether you agree with gender based notions of these energies (I do not), we are using the aforementioned characteristics as descriptors.

I am saying that as a dating coach and psychologist I see more couples where the woman has more Masculine energy and the man has more Feminine energy.  He is more domestic, playful, artistic, nurturing a romantic and she is organized, directed, accomplished, career driven and successful.

Are Venusian men becoming more appealing to women romantically?  Is this the new love balance?  Please share your thoughts.

To learn more about dating today, buy When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Love Themselves into the Relationship of Their Dreams by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman on Amazon now as an ebook or get the in print in December 2012!

You can also sign up for When Mars Women Date Newsletter to know exactly when the print version is released along with details about our community, services, and upcoming events.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

——————————————–

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times. Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

——————————————–

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times. Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

What Made You Write WHEN MARS WOMEN DATE?

I am a psychologist and dating coach and I was also a single career woman at one point.  I heard many dating experts telling single career women to hide their accomplishments, play games, not to give advice to men or ask them out and basically to be someone they’re not.  I had single coaching clients who were trying to hide that they were a lawyer or doctor because of that advice.  I’d say to them, ‘But he should be lucky to have you!’

I did not see a book on feminist dating out there, so I wrote one.  I figured it would be just what women (and some men) would be needing to hear.

To learn more about dating today, buy When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Love Themselves into the Relationship of Their Dreams by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman on Amazon now as an ebook or get the in print in December 2012!

You can also sign up for When Mars Women Date Newsletter to know exactly when the print version is released along with details about our community, services, and upcoming events.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

——————————————–

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times. Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

What 3 Things Does Your Book Say Is Important to Change on a Societal Level?

My book says a number of things that people can reflect upon.  The 3 main messages on a societal level are:

1. We need to effect an inner balance of Feminine and Masculine energy within ourselves:  As a career woman, when I got breast cancer I realized I needed to integrate more Feminine energy into my life.  For me this meant slowing down, listening to my heart more, taking time for my Spirit, my body and being in nature.  My book helps career women see the value of remaining a force in the outer world while attending to those exiled parts of themselves (that I just mentioned) too.  It also discusses the value of finding a man who is connected with his Feminine energy.

2. Men and women need to share all roles, including work, domestic tasks and childcare-

With Feminism women got political rights and were able to gain access to the workplace.  This was huge!  But many women feel more overburdened than ever with two jobs.  Now they need to excel at work and the home front.  They need help and it’s time for men to become more comfortable on the home front and to take a hands on role in their children’s care.  Many men are now really wanting to do this.

3. We need to realize that “love” means wanting your mates authenticity, full potential and wholeness-If someone came down from another planet (other than Mars and Venus) and read about our ideas of love, they would see a lot of game-playing and gender roles and stereotypes.  Many popular experts like John Gray, the Millionaire Match Maker, Dr. Pat Allen, The Rules authors and so many others still suggest that women take the feminine, passive approach in dating.  This is never questioned so women don’t try anything else.  For example, I quoted a stat in my book that showed that when woman asks a man out,  51% of female initiated dates lead to a relationship lasting more than 6 months!  So, do we advise things based on popular consensus or an ‘old world order?’  What would happen if we would be willing to look again, assess what is healthy now and be willing to try something new?  This would have huge implications for men, women and our children.

This ideas may not sound new in 2012 but I assure you its new from a dating coach, and when you look at the statistical split in domestic and childcare between men and women, it is clear that people are still not implementing these ideas.

To learn more about how this new dating paradigm can shift our societal consciousness and concept of love, buy When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Love Themselves into the Relationship of Their Dreams by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman on Amazon now as an ebook or get the in print in December 2012!

You can also sign up for When Mars Women Date Newsletter to know exactly when the print version is released along with details about our community, services, and upcoming events.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

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About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times. Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!