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Home Affects Work: It’s a Vicious Cycle

A study found that bosses who had wives who do not work often have sexist attitudes at the office.  Managers whose wives were homemakers more often viewed the presence of women at work unfavorably and more frequently denied female employees opportunities for promotion.

See the link for more study details here:

To learn more about gender inequities and career women in romantic relationships, buy my new book When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Love Themselves into the Relationship of Their Dreams by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman on Amazon as an ebook now or get the in print in December 2012!

You can also sign up for When Mars Women Date Newsletter to know exactly when the print version is released along with details about our community, services, and upcoming events.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

——————————————–

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times. Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

Women’s Intelligence Sky Rockets from Multitasking. Will Men Catch Up?

Women used to be 5 points behind men on IQ but this year women took the lead!  James Flynn, an IQ authority suggested that maybe it was because women multitask between raising a family and doing a job.  See the link below for more details:

http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/lifestyle&id=8737687

Well men, if you continue to up your domestic responsibilities as you have been, your IQ might increase too!

Food for thought…

To learn more about equal partnerships and how we are from the same planet, buy my new book When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Love Themselves into the Relationship of Their Dreams by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman on Amazon as an ebook now or get the in print in December 2012!

You can also sign up for When Mars Women Date Newsletter to know exactly when the print version is released along with details about our community, services, and upcoming events.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

——————————————–

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times. Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

17 Affirmations for the Mars Woman in a Romantic Relationship:

“I join Mars women everywhere to

create more growth and love in our relationships!”

“Being my true self will attract

my right mate.”

“I follow my inner guidance in romantic

relationships. This includes showing interest

when I’m attracted to someone.”

“I love and accept myself

and know my right mate will do the same.”

“I honor both my Masculine and

Feminine energy and attract a partner

who does the same.”

“I seek love with dedication,

energy and consistency.”

“My personal power is attractive

and helpful to my right mate.”

“A sensitive nurturing man who supports my

dreams can be very sexy.”

 

“A successful career woman who loves

what she does is incredibly sexy.”

“I share money equally and responsibly

with my spouse or partner.”

“Men and women love their work

and have the ability and support to pursue

their dreams and have a family together.”

“My partner and I are jointly responsible for

our home and all it entails.”

“I initiate what I desire in the bedroom

and my partner feels free to do the same.”

“I embrace many non-gendered ways to express love

and appreciation with my mate.”

“My mate and I are both parents so we share

responsibilities for our children and take an

equal interest in their welfare.”

“My mate and I have an equal voice in our

relationship and a shared purpose. We respect

each others opinions even when we disagree.”

“My mate and I are open to all help that

aligns with our values and allows our

family to have a balanced, happy life.”

 

Join with other Mars women on our FACEBOOK Page and buy my new book, When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Love Themselves into the Relationship of Their Dreams by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman on Amazon as an ebook now or get the in print in December 2012!

You can also sign up for When Mars Women Date Newsletter to know exactly when the print version is released along with details about our community, services, and upcoming events.

*Permission to use excerpt with proper attribution

——————————————–

About this Author:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, owner of My Dating School (www.mydatingschool.com), author of “Dating from the Inside Out”, published by Atria Books, a regular speaker at The Learning Annex and is the NY Love Examiner. She’s been an expert on television like the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show. She’s been quoted on MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Fox Business, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro news­papers, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman magazines, and the NY Times. Her new book,When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams e-book can be ordered on Amazon through October. It will come out in the print version in December. Learn more on her website: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

NEWEST ONLINE RADIO INTERVIEW


 Check out Dr. Sherman’s latest comments about When Mars Women Date (Published online 11/20/2012) on this online radio interview. Click the photo right to see information about the interview, the podcast/web stream of KBOO radio, and about the interviewer or click here to open the audio stream link now.

Do Men Like Aggressive Women?

I just had my first radio interview for my upcoming book,’ When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves Into the Relationship of Their Dreams.’ My interviewer said that most of his peers were not attracted to aggressive women and this sparked today’s topic in me. This morning I thought, ‘Is being aggressive the same as being assertive?’ Is this another case of that potato/potata song?

I associate being assertive with something positive and aggressive with something negative. For me, assertive means that you move in the world in the direction of health, with a sense of self and purpose.

Being aggressive (according to the dictionary) involves attacking, invasions, being menacing and competitive.

Most women like assertive men. Do most men today (in our peer group) like assertive women? Do most singles like aggressive people in general? I think not.

Our words and connotations are so important, I think, as I venture to describe what I call the Mars woman. Can she be soft and kind, yet self-assured, decisive and outspoken? Can feminine and masculine energies co-exist and still be compellingly attractive in dating and love?

I believe so. I call to mind images of Oprah, Arianna Huffington and (at risk of totally dating myself) the character of Erica Cane on the soap opera ‘All My Children.’ I’m sure we could think of many more women who make a powerful difference in our world, in their careers and in their relationships, who are assertive and outspoken without being aggressive. In fact, women like Golda Meir, Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama and others may repair our world with their assertiveness rather than destroy it. Of course these are things I wish I had thought to say at the time.

And, do men like women who do not hide their accomplishments, who openly share their truth and who even ask them out or express romantic interest? According to some research I quote in my book, when a woman asks a man out, 51% of female initiated dates lead to a relationship lasting more than 6 months! So maybe times and perceptions of attraction are changing.

One thing’s for sure, our social climate is. Half of the labor force is women, more women have undergraduate and graduate degrees than men and women under 30 in cities are making more than their male peers. There are 105,000stay at home dads and many more peer couples.

So, do we still accept the paradigm as the ‘attractive male’ being the assertive aggressive hunter and the ‘attractive woman’ being the soft receptive homemaker?

I’d love to hear your thoughts directly on that and on the radio conversation we just had. Click this link http://divination.com/podcast/when-mars-women-date/ and then select ‘Play episode.’

Thanks!

My Best in love,

Paulette
www.whenmarswomendate.com

http://divination.com/podcast/when-mars-women-date/

2012 London Book Festival Award Ceremony!

On January 24, 2013 my husband and I went to London to the British Library for the London Book Festival awards.  My book, ‘When Mars Women Date’ was the winner for How-To books.  It was wonderful to meet fellow authors who came from Malaysia, Mexico, India, California, Texas and more.  It was fun to hear the back stories to their books and to share in their journey in getting them out into the world.  Here’s a video that my husband took of my award acceptance speech.

We also had two days to explore London and saw Buckingham Palace, went to Harrods for high tea, visited Abbey Road (ala The Beatles), stopped by Parliament, Big Ben, the London Eye and more.

It was special to have my book honored and to get away together, a week before our sixth year wedding anniversary.

Hurray for London!

Healing the World with Our Messages

This is a random picture I took of the book display table at The London Book Festival 2012 awards ceremony at the British library.  Many of these authors spent at least a year of their lives (some spend 10 years) writing and creating their book.  It is definitely a labor of love and it was great to meet them and to hold their book and to see how each one was healing the world with their message.

For example, I spoke to a children’s book author who was a policeman and wrote a story about bullying for both adults and children.  A doctor there had been helping out at disaster sites and wrote a book to help others in that arena.  Another author wrote a book about losing her husband to cancer and how that was a spiritual journey for her, which I am sure will help other partners who have lost a spouse.

For me, writing is often a way to make sense of my own experience (mine or of professional patterns I see with clients) and to give that message to someone who needs it but is in China, Japan or India.  With a book, remarkably, these people can go through that journey with you, even though you’ve never met.

While I wrote, ‘When Mars Women Date’ I could visualize a community of Mars women readers who were awaiting my book and this new community.  I knew they needed it.  In fact, after my awards acceptance speech, a few women came up to me and said emphatically, ‘I’m definitely a Mars woman! Can I have your card?’

Books help us to recognize ourselves in a deeper way and to join like-minded others to make a difference by shaping our world from the inside-out.

Love Lists? 7 Ways They Can Help You Thrive In Dating

I have a love/hate relationship with lists, which I have been using my whole life. I write long ‘To Do’ lists every day and often end up rolling items over to the next one, as do many Mars women. I think it does help me be more productive and it makes me remember things I’d otherwise forget. But, sometimes it can feel never-ending if you think you need to do all of that in one day! It’s also important to smell the roses and to be present, so let’s add that to the list!:))

Anyway, let’s make today’s topic (and feature) relevant to dating, shall we? Here’s my list about why your command of list-making can be helpful to you when you are dating:

1. It can remind you to take action and write prospects on dating sites at least three times per week.
2. It can remind you to schedule events to meet people
3. It can help you keep track of who you are seeing, when. This can be a challenge when doing on line dating and seeing multiple people.
4. Seeing your To Do list can remind you that you have a lot of other things going on in your life too
5. Seeing your To Do list can keep you centered in your life so you don’t prematurely over focus on your crush.
6. It can remind you to continue your self-care activities and schedule time each week for yourself
7. You can schedule time to see girlfriends so that you keep that important part of your life going too, even once you are in a great new relationship.

Happy Dating!


***************

* You may use excerpts from this with the bio below.

Author Bio:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a psychologist and author of ‘Dating from the Inside Out’ and ‘When Mars Women Date.’ She’s been an expert on the CBS Early Show, the Curtis Sliwa show, MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman, Elle Canada, the Huffington Post and the NY Times. Learn more at: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

My Dating Books on Amazon:

Dating From the Inside Out

When Mars Women Date:

A Shared Vision:: 100 Exercises for Couples to Co-Create The Lives of Their Dreams

100 Ways to Treat Your Mate Like Royalty: Under $10

Dr. Sherman offers Mars women one-on-one coaching by phone or face to face in her Manhattan office.  If you’re interested in coaching with her, please fill out the Private Counseling form here

She will also be facilitating groups and tele-classes for Mars women as well.   If you’re interested in participating, please fill out the contact form here

 

Why Dating is Like the Old Joke…

A Flood Can Be an Opportunity

There’s a good joke about a man who is stuck in a flood and keeps waiting for God to save him. I found a version of it here:

The Flood

The river is overflowing, and the dam is breaking, and an old man is sitting on the porch of his house watching the water rise. He is singing hymns. Along come some members of the national guard in a 4-wheel drive truck. The stop when they see the man. “Come on!” they yell. “The dam is going to break and you will drown.”"Nope,” answered the man. I am praying to God and God will provide for me.

The water keeps rising and soon the man is sitting on the porch railing. Along come some more national guardsmen in a motor boat. “Come on!” they yell. “The dam is breaking and all of this is going to be washed away.” “Nope,” answered the man. I am praying to God and God will provide for me.

The water keeps rising and soon the man is sitting on the roof. A helicopter flies over, stops, and comes back and hovers over him. It lowers a ladder. “Come on!” yells someone from the helicopter. “The dam broke and a wall of water is coming this way!”"Nope,” answered the man. I am praying to God and God will provide for me.
Well, the water rolled over the house and the man was swept away and drowned. He soon found himself standing before the Pearly Gates. He asked to see God and was conducted into His presence.

“God,” the man said, “I don’t understand. I prayed to you and prayed to you and still you let me drown.”
“I LET YOU DROWN?” thundered the voice of God. “MY CHILD, I SENT YOU A CAR, A BOAT, AND A HELICOPTER AND EACH TIME YOU TURNED THEM AWAY. WHAT ELSE DID YOU WANT ME TO DO FOR YOU?”
***

This man was waiting for God but he was not open to his many disguises nor was he ready to act on opportunities that were presented as beneficial for him. Here are some dating lessons you can learn from this cosmic joke:

1. See the Divine in Everyone and Everything- This man rejected boaters, pilots and drivers in order to wait for God in one specific form. What if you overlooked your soulmate because he was an inch too short, Asian or Christian? Think twice about this next time and decide if you at least want to give them one date.

2. Question Your Beliefs and Your Dating Type, It May Be Stopping You- This man was attached to how he would be saved, so he overlooked God’s many forms. How do your beliefs about your perfect partner allow you to overlook the wonderful person before you?

3. If You’re Always Saying ‘No’ and Rejecting People, Think Again-This man refused help over and over. How many times do you reject people when your dating and for what reasons? Have you thought this through or is it just automatic and based on pre-conceived notions? You may be rejecting the partner you most need.

4. Are You Waiting to Be Saved By Some Perfect Being and Overlooking Ordinary Possibilities? This man did not realize that divine beauty is within every human being and living thing. In dating, people wait for a prince on a white horse, in a fancy car or on a motorcycle to come save them. They overlook the neighbor who takes the bus, has a crush on them and would be a fantastic husband, friend and father.

5. Are you Hiding from Life and Living in Another World? This man chose to hide on the porch instead of venturing out into the world and making a change to save himself. One gets the feeling that it was his attachment to his beliefs and predicted circumstances that killed him! With dating, many singles hide out at home reading romance novels, praying, daydreaming and watching soap operas, hoping to meet the One. They don’t take the initiative to save their own dating life by meeting many prospects and seeing who fits.

I hope that you take this story to heart and start letting love into your life today, in ordinary, grounded ways.

My Best in Love,

Paulette


***************

* You may use excerpts from this with the bio below.

Author Bio:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a psychologist and author of ‘Dating from the Inside Out’ and ‘When Mars Women Date.’ She’s been an expert on the CBS Early Show, the Curtis Sliwa show, MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman, Elle Canada, the Huffington Post and the NY Times. Learn more at: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

My Dating Books on Amazon:

Dating From the Inside Out

When Mars Women Date:

A Shared Vision:: 100 Exercises for Couples to Co-Create The Lives of Their Dreams

100 Ways to Treat Your Mate Like Royalty: Under $10

Dr. Sherman offers Mars women one-on-one coaching by phone or face to face in her Manhattan office. If you’re interested in coaching with her, please fill out the Private Counseling form here

She will also be facilitating groups and tele-classes for Mars women as well. If you’re interested in participating, please fill out the contact form here

7 Dating New Year’s Resolutions for 2013

New Years Eve

Everyone has their own symbolism and rituals for the New Year. In Brazil they have the Festival of Yemaya on New Year’s Eve where Brazilians dress in blue and white and flock to the seashore. Yemaya is the Goddess of the sea, symbolizing the womb of the world and the origin of life and creativity. They sing songs, offer food and cast white flowers into the water, asking for blessings for the New Year.

In the United States, many of us write out our resolutions. We party on New Year’s Eve and reflect the first day of the year about what’s ahead. I hope that you celebrated the last day of 2011 and are spending today welcoming 2012. New Year’s Day is a blank slate upon which you can project your dreams. I’m encouraging you to take some time today to write your dreams out. In a study done with results received from 149 participants at Dominican University, those who wrote their goals accomplished significantly more than those who did not write their goals. So clarity, vision and commitment can go a long way in shaping the year to come.

Today’s blog is mostly a check-in for singles who want to attract love this year. Here are 7 dating resolutions to help you attract love in 2013!

  • Be the Change You Want to See in the World: If you want to create peace and love in your love life than start by creating it within. Take a yoga or meditation class or spend time daily walking in nature and think about all the love you receive and create in your life. Filling yourself with loving energy will help you attract more of the same.
  • Have Loving Self-Talk: Others treat you as you treat yourself, so begin to notice what you say to yourself. Be more complimentary, more forgiving and empathic. Give yourself praise and encouragement and be the best partner to yourself that you can be.
  • Have Positive Dating Talk: If you are constantly thinking that the opposite sex and dating sucks, than don’t be surprised when that’s what shows up. Instead, begin thinking about all the wonderful single men or women out there and all the ways that having a romantic relationship will benefit you.
  • Release Old Baggage: This year choose to stop letting the past dictate your future. If you’ve been dumped or betrayed, you can choose to let this go and create something more positive. Choose to replace fear based thoughts and memories with loving ones. The maxim of the New Year is “out with the old, in with the new!”
  • Take Action: It’s easy to wish for things but taking consistent action is harder. If you want to meet someone this year than don’t be a sleeping beauty. Take action, go out regularly and do the work!
  • Be Self-Reflective & Learn: Get a journal and do the exercises in my book “Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart.” This will personalize your dating journey this year and help you to make sure that you are removing any psychological or energetic blocks to attracting the love you want in 2012!
  • Be Reasonable in Your Love Choices: We don’t want you to settle but we do want you to settle down. This requires being grounded and knowing that no one (including you) is perfect. So, resolve to give everyone a chance and look for what you can love about them, whether you marry them or not.

Also, if you’re hard core when it comes to achieving goals, remember that attracting love is not completely in your control, because it also involves timing and another person. For example, in contrast, if you want to lose weight this year, this is mostly under your control. For the most part if you diet well and exercise you should lose the weight (unless you have a thyroid disorder or a slow metabolism etc.) In your love life there are many things that you can do but then you need to let the universe bring you the right opportunities and you have to attract mates who will likewise do their part. So, try not to be too hard on yourself and just adopt an attitude of patient hopefulness like those fishermen instead!

If you’re already in a long-term relationship or married, you can make couple’s resolutions this year. You can resolve to have a date night twice a month, do a budget together or to use kind words to each other when you disagree. Whatever you decide, the New Year can be a springboard to work as a team and move your relationship to the next level.

You can even involve your kids in creating resolutions. My son asked me what a resolution was, and when I explained it to him, he wanted to make some and he even asked me to type his up. As of now, he’s going to try to go pee pee on the potty and not to hit his baby sister.

So, whatever goals you choose as a single person or as a family, I hope you create a great trajectory for manifesting the year of your dreams in 2013!

My Best in Love,

Paulette


***************

* You may use excerpts from this with the bio below.

Author Bio:

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a psychologist and author of ‘Dating from the Inside Out’ and ‘When Mars Women Date.’ She’s been an expert on the CBS Early Show, the Curtis Sliwa show, MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Complete Woman, Elle Canada, the Huffington Post and the NY Times. Learn more at: www.whenmarswomendate.com!

My Dating Books on Amazon:

Dating From the Inside Out

When Mars Women Date:

A Shared Vision:: 100 Exercises for Couples to Co-Create The Lives of Their Dreams

100 Ways to Treat Your Mate Like Royalty: Under $10

Dr. Sherman offers Mars women one-on-one coaching by phone or face to face in her Manhattan office. If you’re interested in coaching with her, please fill out the Private Counseling form here

She will also be facilitating groups and tele-classes for Mars women as well. If you’re interested in participating, please fill out the contact form here